You know you are khmer when ………..
.. you always have rice cooked and ready to served in the pot
.. you have a big picture of ANGKOR WAT in your living room
.. your dad wears a sarong with no shirt on around the house ( I think old style)
.. all you use is prang kalah(tiger balm) for pain and any other discomfort
.. you have straw mats instead of carpeting around the house
.. you drive a
.. you were younger and were just beaten with a stick that you had to pick off of the tree for your mom or dad. after the beating, you run off, and while you were crying and hiding in a room, you decide never to come out, then you get hungry.. and mom or dad just cooked something that smells oh-so-good like cha or something.. and then your stomach growls of starvation but your trying to stay in the room.. then all of a sudden, the angry beast (your mom or dad) walks into the room and asks if your hungry and acts like nothing happened
.. you were young, your parents would beat you with either chopsticks or hangers, until they broke or whip your ass with a belt
.. you’ve had at least one shoe thrown at your head, by your mother, when you didn’t do the dishes and/or take out the trash
.. grown ups call you, guys say baht and girls say chaah
.. everybodys your cousin
.. your backyard has a garden filled with stuff you’ll soon to be eating
.. you love pahok and try to make your friends eat it
.. you see little kids drunk off Hennessy at a wedding reception
.. there’s la hong in your garden
.. your remote has tape all around it
..you’ve got 50 pairs of shoes outside your door.. on a regular basis
.. your feet never touch your pillows
.. one of your friends or family members come back from
.. you have a family member who goes to
.. a white person asks you to speak khmer, you talk about noodles. “Do you want to eat mi?”
.. your parents stock food for a disaster.. especially water and pahok
.. your name is almost the same as your brother’s, sister’s, and cousin’s names.
.. there is khmer related anything on tv, you call up all of your friends and family to watch it too
.. you think the word for “gay” in khmer is funny
.. your parents greet an old friend with a swear
.. your mom forces your friends to eat her food
.. people mistaken you for being filip, indian, viet, chinese or hawaiian
.. the only DVDs your parents own are cambodian karaoke ones
.. you call everybody your aunt or uncle
.. people arrive at your house while you’re having dinner, and you always force them to stay and eat
.. you never use your dishwasher, you only use it to store dishes
.. you bring the rice cooker to picnics
.. your parents always interrogate you about your friends
.. you watch khmer dubbed chinese movies
.. your family gets invited to weddings every other weekend
.. your little baby cousins know how to dance khmer.. especially when the karoake gets going..
.. your cousins know how to sapeah before they learn how to wave good bye
.. you love Bok Lahong
.. you see an apple tree on the highway. you stop, and you pick it
.. you take advantage of the free refills at McDonalds or any other place that has the same offer
.. you go eat out with a lot of your relatives and parent’s friends at a restaurant, and when it’s time to pay the bill, it takes five minutes to do so because everyone freakin’ WANTS to pay the bill even if they were just the guest
.. your parents call white people French (parange)
….you have chinese sausage and noodles for backup food.
….You don’t have family breakfast, lunch, dinner, you eat when hungry.
….If you try to have a conversation while eating you get yelled at by your parents. Eating is serious business.
…when people ask you to dance and instead of busting a move you bust into Rom Vong.
….when you dont think it is weird if adults dont ask you for your name but they ask you what’s
…..when spending a day in the kitchen with your mom means having yellow stained hands for 2 days from bok-ing kroeung
..your family on the beach goes into the water fully clothed, the concept of swimsuits are lost to them
..Your mom asks you if you want to “NYUM BAI,” you ask her what’s for dinner, she says “BAI…” then you have to further ask “…rice with what?” in order to find out what the real main course is.
..On that note, bai is always the main course and meat and everything else are just sides. That’s why your bowl of rice is always filled with barely any room for anything else…